The Eleshia Show

Why Connecting With Your Energetic Cycle is Vital for Beating Overwhelm with Mairi Taylor

April 21, 2023 Eleshia Harris Season 1 Episode 99
The Eleshia Show
Why Connecting With Your Energetic Cycle is Vital for Beating Overwhelm with Mairi Taylor
Show Notes Transcript

Our hormones have a lot to answer for, don’t they?

We can feel super sociable, energetic, productive and ready to conquer anything at certain times in the month. Then at other times, we can struggle to feel motivated, don’t like being around people and can even find it harder than ever to think clearly or achieve our goals.

Even if we have reached perimenopause or menopause and no longer have our periods we still experience these monthly shifts that can affect everything we do in our lives and businesses.

Often we try to push through because that’s what society tells us to do. With all those projects, deadlines and various responsibilities, we often feel like it’s our only option if we want to live a rich, fulfilling, successful and financially stable life.

But as this week’s podcast guest, menopause rockstar Mairi Taylor tells us, if we can tune in to our natural female cycles, learn to nurture ourselves better and listen to our intuition, we can take care of ourselves, beat overwhelm, live in alignment with our values and achieve everything we set out to.

Listen to this episode to discover: 

  • How we can live in alignment with our female cycles (and how it can can transform our daily lives, productivity and success) 🌚
  • Why we need to harness our female power and say “NO MORE”, no matter what society says 💪🏾
  • Finding your non-negotiables and how to use them to navigate your way through the world
  • How listening to our intuition and escaping hustle culture can transform our businesses
  • Why stopping and taking time to find your true desires can help you beat overwhelm and procrastination and move forward (you’ll be surprised how!) 🧘🏾‍♀️
  • The importance of pausing and finding space to nurture and embrace ourselves 

And much more! Listen below 👇

https://www.eleshialifestyle.com/blog/episode-99-why-connecting-with-your-energetic-cycle-is-vital-for-beating-overwhelm-with-mairi-taylor

A
Team Dklutr Production

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies 

Mairi Taylor: Let's get to know ourselves. Let's get to honor ourselves. Let's get to have a sabbatical or some time out. Start saving now. Ladies.  
 

Eleshia Harris: Hey, I'm Eleshia Harris and I am your host. Off the Alicia Show, we, each week we'll be having conversations about how to enhance your wellbeing. We'll be sharing strategies and stories and insights to build your business while still navigating life, because sometimes we try to separate the two. 

Eleshia Harris: And let's face it, if you are not well, you have no business. I am a holistic business growth strategist and a wellness coach who spent over 15 years in corporate before deciding to choose me first to build my brand Alicia Lifestyle. I'm here to teach you how to redefine what's at sets. Means to you ditch the stress and confusion and learn how to run your business from a place of ease and excitement. 
 

Eleshia Harris: Let's get into this week's episode. 
 

Eleshia Harris: For those of you who Dunno, Mary Mary is a almost 56 year old woman learning to love and trust herself. She's shining her light so that others can do the. She really is. She's on a mission to show there's nothing shit about being a woman or being told that it is. It's time to claim our magic, wisdom, and power back. 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yes. When Mary and I get together, I always know that we are going to have four provoking conversations. And so a few weeks back when we were just having a catch up called, she mentioned a term called the Men Know Boars. And I was like, wow. And then we got into it and she talked about having a menopause sabbat. 
 

Eleshia Harris: And I was like, we need to have a conversation about this for the listeners. So here we are having this conversation. You know, I'm always going to be sharing with you how I am going through this transition of my life. And for those of you who are hearing you, having these open and honest conversations, some may call them taboo conversations is really important to me as a woman. 
 

Eleshia Harris: As a woman in business, as a black woman, as a mother, as a carer, because I'm gonna go through it and society has shown. That we should just hide when we are going through our own growing pains, and that's not what I'm about, especially as I have so many amazing women with expertise in the subject and who are so willing to share with me, but also to share with you. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: So this conversation was rich as per usual. I always love having these conversations with the guests that I bring it on because they're always so happy to share. We talked about the menopause sabbatical. We've talked about Mary's reasoning. We talked about Mary's reasons to why she is now using H R T and some of the backlash that she has had because of that. 
 

Eleshia Harris: We talked about just how hard it can be sometimes when you are going through your own journey and then you are having to deal with. External things that are happening in your life, like family members. We talked about why sometimes it's really difficult to stay in that vulnerable state when you are going through things yourself, but why it's so important to ensure that you give yourself space to be able to do that. 
 

Eleshia Harris: And so this conversation was really, really key for us to have. It's, it's episode 99. Mary was one of my first. We did a whole six weeks series for you on the female cycle and Perry and Menopause. So I would highly recommend that you go back and listen to that if you haven't, and let's just get into this week's conversation. 
 

Eleshia Harris: Thank you all for continuing to support me. I, next episode is going to be my hundredth, can you believe it? I cannot believe it. Anyway, enjoy this episode and I'll speak to you on the other. Hello, listeners. I am here again with my beautiful friend, Mary Taylor, and if you don't already know her, you seriously need to find her because this woman has a wealth of information that she is not afraid to share. 
 

Eleshia Harris: We did a whole six weeks series for you on how to harness your female energy, and then we've also done other episodes that you need to go and listen to because like I said, Mary is very good at being vulnerable in order to serve others. And for that, again, I thank you because it feels like you are my big sister when it comes to everything that we go through as women. 

Eleshia Harris: Yeah, and the fact that you are so willing to share with me and also with my audience is really important to me. So thank you again for being here. Introduce yourself, my love. Wow.  
 

Mairi Taylor: How do you, oh, well, firstly, I receive every word with the love and love that it deserves, and I don't think I could have a better description of myself than big sister because definitely I think that's very much how I see myself, particularly as I am the big sister that lost her little sister. 

Mairi Taylor: Well, I didn't lose her. I know exactly where she. And I think it's so interesting. I mean, goodness me, when did you start this amazing journey with your podcast?  
 

Eleshia Harris: So we launched on the 28th of April, 2021. But in the background, we were already doing, yeah. Recordings and so forth. So it's been two years,  

Mairi Taylor: nearly two years. 
 

Mairi Taylor: And if I even think back to that series, we both know so much more. We've both grown so much more. And so, you know, in terms of introduction, really for me, where I'm continuing to grow and evolve is really teaching and empowering women how to honor their cyclical living and really connecting with their menstrual cycle or their energetic cycle. 
 

Mairi Taylor: Because obviously for myself, I'm a post-menopausal woman, so you know, I'm four years post-menopause in June, and I still have an energetic cycle. And the more I'm sinking into it, the more aligned I'm becoming, the more empowered I'm feeling, the more I'm able to hold the space again for others, because I just love this beautiful, energetic flow. 

Mairi Taylor: It's shifted the way I do business. Yes, for all of the good things, and I think the more and more there are people like ourselves out in the world, showing other women that it's okay to work with their menstrual cycle or their energetic cycle rather than against. The better I think the world will be for, for everybody. 

Eleshia Harris: 100%. Because I think now we are getting more comfortable. Mm. Mm-hmm.  

Mairi Taylor: Hmm. Mm-hmm. We're definitely in the being rather than the doing. Right. You know, I think for you and I. It's now very natural. And of course that doesn't mean we get it right cuz as you say, sometimes we'll have a check-in or a message and I might just say, where are you in the cycle? 
 

Mairi Taylor: Or Yes, I might need to have a little look up and go, oh, it's first quarter moon today. Right? And you know, there's a shift and I'm gonna take an even deeper dive into this whole world of menstrual simply. I just feel it's so important, and also through the work that you and I have done together, through some of the collaborations we've done, through the programs that I've been running over the last two years, I'm really seeing the evidence of when women get in tune with this cyclical living and with their cycle, oh my goodness, do they feel empowered and do they see the difference? 
 

Eleshia Harris: For me, Mary, it has opened up a whole new world and because I am so happy to share, others are so happy to share as well. They feel comfortable. And so when I am thinking about the feedback that we've received about the podcast series and you know, different particular episodes that I have launched over the last two years, a lot of the. 
 

Eleshia Harris: People are saying it's because you have shared or your guest has shared so much with us. And so for that, I'm truly grateful for people like yourself that have come onto my virtual couch and been, yeah. So happy to say this is who I am, this is what I'm going through and this is what I'm doing to look after myself. 

Eleshia Harris: Hmm. Cause I matter. So what you just said about just honing into your cycle and your energies is so really important, and I will continue to talk about this until forever. Oh gosh. Are men? Oh, yeah. Because I think one of the things that we discussed when we were doing the series was just seeing other women in the corporate world suffering because they didn't know what was going on and they didn't know how to move through. 
 

Eleshia Harris: Or they didn't have the community to be like, are you going through this? I'm going through this. What are you doing? Mm-hmm. And specifically why? Like I said, I know that I can pick up the phone to you and say, Mary, this is what's happening. Help me. Yeah. Other than just spin out. And so this work is really important. 
 

Mairi Taylor: Massively and in fair. I think a lot of it as well, with all the work that's been done on menopause awareness, which I think is absolutely fabulous. But it's equally important that we go downstream. Mm-hmm. And also because I say this quite often, and just remind me, are we allowed to use any swear words on your podcast? 

Mairi Taylor: So, you know, we quite often we see, don't we? It's shit being a woman. It's letting there women have to put up with. I tell you what shit are, how uneducated we've been allowed to be. Yes. It's how we gaslight each other in terms of menstrual cycle. How we don't allow our daughters to talk to anyone else other than ourselves about their periods. 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yes, because you know what else is allowed to have us have a say how uneducated some of our doctors and the medical profession are, how we see Discrepanc. Not only in race or you know, right. There's a whole other podcast. Yes. For a whole other day it might come up in here. So actually for me, it's not shit being a woman. 
 

Mairi Taylor: It's shit how we've been allowed to be kept small, uneducated, disempowered. And there is now this whole wrath of women like ourselves harnessing our power and saying, no more. This is it. It's okay to have a period. None of us would be bloody here if it wasn't for periods anyway, and we are taking back our power. 
 

Mairi Taylor: And so in answer to that, you know, I feel really strongly that yes, we need to put the focus on menopause because we've got this huge amount of uncertainty and people feeling so discombobulated. But if you actually go downstream 10 years mm-hmm. To, you know, mid thirties, early forties, there are a lot of women. 
 

Mairi Taylor: In that phase also thinking what is going on? You know, they're disconnected, they're powering through, and again, the more work we can do earlier on. Yes. I'm hopeful that the women coming in in the next 10, 15, 20 years, because of all of the work that's being done now, are gonna feel much more empowered. 
 

Mairi Taylor: Not have the same amount of discombobulation, but we also need to look at our lifestyles. Everything comes into the mix, and some of us need to just say, I'm not available for this anymore,  
 

Eleshia Harris: Mary. Okay, let's talk about that. Because I have done a lot of that, like just shifting and moving and shaking and just being like, no, I am. 
 

Eleshia Harris: Putting up with certain behaviors, certain ways and just really having very clear boundaries. Mm-hmm. About my time, energy. Mm-hmm. Cause for me that was key from a perspective of just letting a lot of people have my time. Yeah. And then it not being reciprocated so. And I mean, I don't give to receive, but mm-hmm. 
 

Eleshia Harris: When I'm making myself mentally and emotionally available for you. And then if I need that back, there's no one to be seen. Mm-hmm. That's a real problem for me. And so that was interesting, like what you've just said, I was just like, wow. That kind of hit me right in between my eyes as to what has really changed for me over these last two. 
 

Eleshia Harris: Was just really focusing on what I want and adding more boundaries around that. Yeah.  
 

Mairi Taylor: And I think it's a real challenge for many of us, reforming people. Pleasers. Mm-hmm. Good girls. Don't you know all of the sort of cultural language that's used around and forest. But also I think sometimes, you know, when we are in the entrepreneurial space Yes. 
 

Mairi Taylor: Or we're running our own business because I'm really challenging whether or not I'm an entrepreneur or whether I'm somebody who simply runs their own business. And I don't, I'm not being disparaging  
 

Eleshia Harris: No, I, I'm just like, Hmm, I wanna dig into that. I mean, like, what do you mean? Yeah. Whatever  
 

Mairi Taylor: language we want to use as someone who runs their own. 
 

Mairi Taylor: Someone who is solely reliant on, I need to do the work to generate the income, to put the  
 

Eleshia Harris: food. Oh, okay. Mm-hmm.  
 

Mairi Taylor: It's very hard sometimes, you know, boundaries. Cause I always used to be, I worked in the fitness industry and one of the things in the fitness model is, People get into pre-contemplation, we're all taught this model, and if they're ready to exercise and they wanna push the button, then you are not available to say yes and tie them in 24 hours later. 
 

Mairi Taylor: They've lost the motivation, you've lost the customer, you've lost the does that element. And so you are always available because what if you missed that one sale? Right? Right. Whereas what I've now come to learn is the more I do for me, The more I come back and the sales have just turned up anyway, because my energy, how I'm resonating and vibrating in the world is calling in rather than me  
 

Eleshia Harris: hustling. 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yes, 100%. And I think the whole hustle culture for me was I couldn't do it because, yeah,  
 

Mairi Taylor: I've got my baby. We tried, didn't we? We tried really hard. Yeah.  
 

Eleshia Harris: So hard. But I mean like, yeah, it's just I can't work like that. No. I have to work in flow because I have a younger ceo. Yes. Like I'm the ceo, but when Alessandro came into my life, I was like, I have never been out of control of my life until this little person came and showed me who I really was. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yeah. And who I really needed to be to serve her as well. And so from that perspective, the hustle culture was not for me because I'm here trying to be okay for this little person and also for a brother. And then I need to make sure that I've got enough fuel in my tank for myself and to run my. And so the business always came last. 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yeah. And so we always had to work around everything else. Mm-hmm. And I love that I've built it that way because it does not feel like a chore. And you think for a lot of people, like you said, with regards to, are you a entrepreneur? I don't have to do everything myself, and that's how I've built my business. 
 

Eleshia Harris: Like the podcast, I do final edits, but the team does the first set of edits, and yes, I am still a little bit of a control freak from the perspective that I listen to every episode before it goes. Because that's who I am. This is an extension of me. However, I'm, I'm not trying to do all of the things I can't. 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yeah. I don't want my business to solely rely on just. Yeah. That's one of the reasons why, like you said, I only need now teacher select amount of Pilates students because I don't want it to be like, I'm just having to turn up because people want me now. Now, now I can't be in that reactive mode  
 

Mairi Taylor: anymore. 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yeah, and I think where for me, I don't know what's the reason I said that is maybe, you know, entrepreneur, where I'm at is it's just about being comfortable and that isn't about keeping myself small. Mm-hmm. It's simply that I'm just not available anymore. I've got really key sort of values that are important for me Yes. 
 

Mairi Taylor: And my lifestyle and where I'm. And they're just non-negotiable. And what I've been saying to quite a lot of my friends is I will cheer you on. I'm simply not coming with you on the ride anymore. Yeah, I'm not coming on the ride anymore and I'm quite happy over here doing my thing. And we were talking about this. 
 

Mairi Taylor: In a group that I'm in, and you know, a lot of people are sort of like, oh, wanna go off on the adventure and do this and that. And I'm like, this has really become really strong in my value system at the moment. And I'm like, what about the women who just want a contented life? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I said to somebody, I said, where are all of them? 
 

Mairi Taylor: And I went, I tell you where they're, they're not showing up on social media because they're just getting on with their contented lives. And so I don't know if this is a chapter, Alicia, I don't know if this is now the final chapter mm-hmm. And where I'm at, but it's most definitely where I've come to through the cyclical, living through wintering. 
 

Mairi Taylor: So, you know, we've only just gone through spring equinox. Yes, through really learning to be quiet and still and look and nurture and you know, there's been a lot of clearing and sifting and now it's like, what's ready to grow? And it's no surprise is it that we've arranged this call today on, you know, first quarter moon. 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yes. We're in airy season, so first quarter Moon Warrior arrest action, making plans and all the rest of it. But I'm still doing that with a very slow pacing myself rather than a wham bam thank you's  
 

Eleshia Harris: going. Exactly. And how much more are you getting done and how much happier are you?  

Mairi Taylor: I'd say I'm much happier. 
 

Mairi Taylor: Mm-hmm. But what I also find is when I do sit down to get stuff done, I can do more in an hour than I could probably do. Cause it's focused, I know exactly what it is I want to do and it gets done and then we move on.  
 

Eleshia Harris: Exactly. Mary. And that's the answer that I, what you would give. Yeah, because I think a lot of the time, because we are in that swirl, that's when the overwhelm sets in, that's when the procrastination sets in. 
 

Eleshia Harris: And I always say to my clients is sit still for a little while and actually really feed into your intuition, feed into your gut. What is it that you truly want? What is it that you truly desire? And then I see the lights. And  
 

Mairi Taylor: how often do we make a decision and then maybe a week or a month later we are thinking or it didn't work out or whatever. 

Mairi Taylor: And we knew there was intuition all the time. Yes. But because we didn't take that moment mm-hmm. To truly tune into it because we've been taught not to. No. And so, you know, that whole opportunity, as you say that when we were talking about this up there, that opportunity to just have space. To go, okay, let me just sit and get everything out. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: And I saw a really interesting thing just about procrastination, which said, what if procrastination is just your body's way of saying, I'm not working to this timeline that someone else has set.  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yeah. And is it that true? Yeah. And I can say that from a planning perspective, yes. You know, I can say that as you know, I love a plan. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yeah.  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: I love a plan too. Now. I really love to love a plan, but the plan  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: gives me. Exactly. I was just literally about to say, but the plan has to work for you. Yeah. And so when I'm working with people, I'm looking at everything holistically, Mary, and some people think that I'm crazy because I'm like, okay, so how is that gonna affect your family life? 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: What about your social life? And they're like, huh, we're just here to speak about business. And I'm like, well, no, because we need to think about everything. Yeah. In order for you then not to spin out when you've left me. Yeah. And think that, oh, Alicia gave me this plan and now I have to implement it and I can't have a life. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: And so I think that's the difference from a planning perspective that people may not really think about when they're going through their own plans is make that space for yourself as well.  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yeah. And invest in you. Cause what, what you were saying, there are things really important, not just in you, but in your relationship as well. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: And my partner and I, we've had some really important conversations because, The world's opened back up again and I'd fallen a little bit into, oh, I'll go here and I'll go there. And so at the weekend we've actually made a decision and we've joined a gym together because that's what we like doing together because we need to book in time with each other because of the way. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Dan works during the day and the week and the way that I work. So Sundays and Saturdays now we can go to the gym together and have a sauna and you know, do yes and regroup, which then means we can get on with the rest of the week knowing. And some people might be, oh, where's the, it's what we love doing. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: And I think it's so important, like you say, as you do with your clients, it's like, well, how does that fit in with your family or your social life? Because as the queen of burnout, there's only so much. And again, it's so interesting when we look at the energetics of the menstrual cycle or the moon cycle, we've got new moon source arrest, inner energy, quiet still reflect. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Then we come out, wow, you know, we're the Warrior S action orientated. Let's get going with sort of first quarter moon. Then we come into Full Moon. Oh, now we're about connection and community and you know, loving and sensuality. And then we've got this softer energy just afterwards with the waning as we come into the mother energy, which is all about. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: And then final quarter, we come into the Queen Energy, and again, it's about getting everything back in order, sifting, sorting, rechecking in on the vision. And then we come back into a period of rest. So even if we look at the moon energy in our menstrual cycle, yes. Goes up, recover up, recover. Mm-hmm. Every day we wake up, we've got a different energy, but we're taught to flatline. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: So we need the fun, we need the connection. The warriors, she's really single-minded. She's in her zone of genius. She's getting things done. She's out there. S. But even there, you think about it, the big battles that they'd come back, they'd feast, they'd connect, they'd be orgy, you know all that. Yes, and all that kinda good stuff. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: But we try and do it all the same. And so again, in the two years since we did the series together, and I've deepened into the work and really deepened into my. It's about making sure that there's fun in what we're doing, that we've got community and connection when we need it. That we've got our alone time when we absolutely need it. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: But also, you know, we're nurturing ourselves, our relationships, our community. But like you said, queen comes on with the boundaries and goes, and these are my.  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yeah, I'm gonna share something that's really important, because I think people need examples sometimes, right? Mm-hmm. Cause we can always talk about these things and they're like, well, how do we do this? 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yeah. Okay. So a couple of weeks back, I had a funeral. And it was somebody dear to my heart, and it happened in the way that I was like, wow, I'm truly gonna miss this person, because she was a huge cheerleader in who I am. And when we had finished with the burial, I had made the decision that I needed to hold the boundary myself, and I was not going to go to the after celebration. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Firstly, people were like, but why? Just come for a little bit, like, just come for a little bit. It is a celebration of her life and so forth. But Mary, for me, it was about, I celebrated her when she was here, and I also had such a feeling of intensity that I wanted to go home and spend some time with my daughter. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: And just be with the living and not be saddened because I know how I am. I'm at empath and it was very hard for me to be at the grave and not cry. I held a lot in, and I did it because it was about a celebration of her life. There was lots of great conversations, but I held that boundary and it was really difficult for me to. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: But then on the way home, I had to find somewhere to release all of that because what I didn't recognize is that by me saying yes to myself and for me not doing the norm, my body was internal. And so I was sick for the rest of that day because I'd held onto those feelings. But equally, I was still so happy that I did not go with what everybody else wanted me to do because equally, I could have turned up at the venue and then been sick. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: My husband would've had to taken me home and then he wouldn't have been able. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So I, yeah. Yeah. I just think it's important for you to know who you are and what you need for yourself, and so I got to spend time with Alessandra when I got home. My godmother was here, and I got to lie on the sofa and just be there and just. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Remember this person from afar and she'll always be part of my heart. Mm-hmm. But not have to feel any other type of way about getting emotional when everybody was there, celebrating her life. I'm a crier and I'd been holding all of that in. Mm-hmm. And I didn't know that this was gonna come out in this particular space on my virtual couch, but I think it's really important for people to know. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: You have to take into consideration how you are feeling when it comes to boundary setting and knowing that you can change the direction of that boundary as well. Mm-hmm. In order. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. To be okay. Yes.  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Just, yes, there's no rule book is there? There is no rule book. And certainly as we get older mm-hmm. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: And we face death and departure or people that we love, people that we might not love, but are still in our realm and things like that. It really affects us. You know, my mom, I've really come to appreciate. I thought it was all in a box and I was dealing with it all. And I've really allowed myself to in my way because I've had so many people telling me what I should be doing. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Mm-hmm. And how I should be feeling and who, when, and how I should be visiting. I've had to do exactly what's right for me and honor that and get to where I needed to get to for me and my mom in my own time and in my own space and in my own way. And it's not always what society thinks it should look like. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: And again, like you've said, it's simply, and this is what I love about your podcast, is I think because of who you are, you just have the most spectacular guests on there who bring all these insights and different perspectives. But the biggest thing I think they all have in common is they really either know themselves or are on their way to knowing themselves so well and are quite happy sharing who they are. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Whether it fits society's mold of what they should or shouldn't look like. I don't think I'm saying that very eloquently, but it's that you are definitely attracting people that are prepared to say there is another way. Yeah,  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: and there's always another way, and I think that's really important to say. And I also think it's important to say that you are not alone. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: And one of the things that is really intentional for me is the people that do come on the podcast are willing to share and are willing to speak their truths because they think that's all we've got. Our words are powerful. Yeah. And maybe sometimes we forget how powerful words. Every guest I have, everything about the podcast is intentional to be able to be helpful. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: But also, like I've always said, just take what you need and leave the rest because I'm here trying to share experiences with you or I'm not here saying You must do this, this, and this to  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: be no. But it gives permission though, as well, doesn't it? And I think that's something that I've really come to learn, you know, because I'm definitely somebody who's counseled appointments when I, it's not felt right, and I'm trying more and more now that I make the appointments at the right time for me, circumstances permitting. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: But you know, like you said, it's the almost that permission. You know, I had a client, I checked in with her the day before, she wasn't sure how she was feeling. Checked in with her the next day, offer her appointment, and literally three minutes or so before her appointment, she was like, I just can't get out of bed. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: So we had a quick call and I said, and that's okay. And she was like, but this isn't who I normally am. And I said, it's okay. I said, I've made a decision that if my business is very female centric Yes. And I am on a mission or my purpose is to empower. Mm-hmm. And inspire other women to honor themselves. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Then if women need to cancel, yeah. I need to be okay with that. Yes and honor. Yes. And simply rearrange. Yes. Yeah. And that's what she basically said. She went, this feels so liberating. Yes. And I said, you know what? We may never actually get to meet in person. We will. We've got it booked in. Mm-hmm. I said, but maybe that's the only lesson you needed to learn from making an appointment with me. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Right. Is that it's okay to honor yourself as part of the process, but  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: as a business owner, how did  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: that make you? That I'm doing the right thing. Yeah. That I'm actually aligned with my value system. Yes, yes. There's always something to do, isn't there? There's always admin, there's always, or a walk or space to be creative or that space always gets used. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yeah. In whatever way, and maybe I needed a rest, maybe with the universe was also telling me you both needed a.  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Exactly that. I mean, I've got a client who I check in every time I know we are meeting. I check in with her because she's always gonna need 15 minutes extra and I know. And so I factor that in. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Mm-hmm. And like you said, I love the fact that I can work in flow and my clients know that about me as well. They know that they can cancel if they're not feeling good. They know that they don't have to push through. Yes. They know that I'm gonna be here in whatever capacity that they need. Like I've got a client at the moment who knows that she wants a check-in twice a week. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: And so we have half an hour check-ins twice a week. Yeah. While they're having an. Once a week. She knows that works for her. And it's just about building a business that feels liberating for yourself.  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yeah. But also that, like you always say, you are your business. It's also building a life that feels good for yourself. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yeah. So I wanna talk about something that we talked about off air, and I was like, yeah, this sounds amazing to me. So the last time we spoke, Mary, you mentioned maybe taking a menopause sabbatical. Yes, and I was like, oh, what is that? What does that mean? What are you doing? I need to get into it. I want the listeners to hear about this as well because again, it's about giving yourself permission. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yeah. First of all, always complete transparency. This is a concept that I heard from the red school. Yes. So if you are someone that's listening and genuinely interested, Deeper diving into the menstrual cycle, your menstrual cycle, or your wise power in there. While I was listening to their book Wise Power and they were simply talking about the fact that we need a Saba, you know, it is a man. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Pause. Yes. So this may sound then completely like we're talking across purposes, having said, oh, I just looked. But you know, at that time of life we need a pause. We need space to adjust to sort of tie up the loose ends of the woman. We are, make space for the woman we're becoming. And then fully embrace her and move forward and allow her, and what they were actually saying is if more women could take a sabbatical, then you would have that time. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: I suppose the problem is a bit like even when we're menstruating, we've gotta push through, haven't we? We take a pat tablet or we try and block the whole system, but you know, there's a lot of women in their mid to late forties, early fifties, in either at the top of their. And they can't afford to take the time out. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: So how about, and again, this is their idea. We saved for a sabbatical. Yeah. So that you could actually take the time out. Without worrying about the financial impact of it. And you could go to your HU in the woods or just Potter in your garden, you know, whatever it was that you needed or go down to part-time as long as you were again, able to boundary and not then work the other days that people were working. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: It really, really deeply resonated with, sorry. You are desperate to say something.  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Oh my God. No, because I'm just listening to what you're saying and it's like, I took a sabbatical when I was trying for Alessandra. Yes. I was just like, oh my goodness. When you said that, I was like, wow. Yeah. Wow.  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Because you gave your body Yes. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: That was your mind. The space to rest, to conceive whatever it is you need to conceive. Whether that is a new, beautiful human Yes. Or the new version of yourself. Of  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: yourself. I love this idea so much because I think, again, Like I said, it gives you permission. And when you said we were going back and forth, I think no, we are not, because we're talking about you as a person. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yeah. When you are evolving through your own life cycle, and so this is really key for people to actually start to think about. Yeah, we need to talk about this because,  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: yeah, for me, I feel there was a moment in the middle of the three years that, you know, that was during lockdown where my body wasn't doing what I thought my body would keep doing forever. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: And again, I now know that I had not given myself initially enough credit. For the emotional impact of what was going on with my mom and her house and her husband, and all of those things. So if people don't know my story, my mom has severe Alzheimer's. She doesn't know who anybody is. At the beginning of lockdown, her husband died and they were in Scotland. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: My mom was in a care home. I had to go and clear the house and become power of attorney and well, I was always gonna be power of attorney and I hadn't given myself enough space for just allowing myself to deal with and unpick and untangle everything. That was the sort of triangle. That was me, my mom, and her husband, and my mom's still with us. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: She doesn't know who anybody. She's very much in what I've heard called the decay phase of life, which is where not only has her mind gone to the beautiful other part wherever she is, but her body's starting to go as well. And so it's almost like you're in a waiting room. Yes. And I know you know this feeling very well. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: I've been here once before with my sister, and so I've just realized at one point I said, I'm just gonna be patient with myself. So it almost was that sort of, I'm not gonna push anymore. I just need the space for the processing, for the healing, for the untangling. And I trust, and I know that if and when I wanna pick up the pace again, I will be ready to do so. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: But I need to just slow everything down. And then one of the other things that just came to me, and we were talking about this a few weeks ago, is I've even applied for a part-time job. So I'm waiting to hear about that. And again, you know, I've had some people go, well, aren't you being a failure or, and I've had lots of people who said that, oh, doesn't matter. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: I've had lots of people being really positive, but I don't feel I've failed. I've made choices and my choice is, and I want to work somewhere in with community where I can just turn up and do a good job. I don't need to worry about social media or marketing or admin or anything at. Like  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: that. It's another boundary you've set for yourself and that, and this is it. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Absolutely. And I think also like, lemme just say this,  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: it's your life and I know that and I'm now just like, Nope, don't feel like that at all. Thank you very much. In the same way for complete and transparency, for two years on from the last time we spoke, I'm now on a little H R T journey. Yes, which I never ever thought I would be. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yes. And again, yes, I've been asked if I feel like a failure or do I let myself down, or why do I need to do that? In fairness by a couple of women who were a lot younger than me. Mm-hmm. And I never thought at 45 that I would be sat here at almost 56 saying, I'm taking H R T. Mm-hmm. But I got to a point where I felt I'd done everything I could do. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yes. I had my second Dutch test. My adrenals are never gonna be what my adrenals should be. Whatever that's meant to me because of the way I've lived my life. Mm-hmm. When I didn't know, I knew what I knew and now I knew differently. Mm-hmm. And I just felt it was time and I was ready and prepared. I had the evidence, I had the knowledge. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: I knew how I was feeling in my own body. Mm-hmm. And so I made an informed decision. Mm-hmm. But again, it was really interesting of don't you feel like you are a failure? And I was like, wow, we're gaslighting ourselves now. And I've had so many people go, yes, I'm on hr. And it's like, wow, this is really interesting. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: This is really interesting that we've got shame around something.  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: So I'm really curious Yeah. To know where that shame comes from, because I think, like you said, you tried everything that you could do from a natural perspective, and we've always said that we have never said, and  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: I still use all of my natural cause. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: We're gonna go, we're gonna go settle. Yeah.  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yeah, yeah. And so I find it really interesting that both you and I have always said that we will try the natural, however, we are not adverse for help from a medication perspective. And for me personally, I've not needed that intervention yet. However, when I had my full body rash, remember. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: I tried for as long as I could with my natural remedy. And then my body was raging, and I was like, okay, I need to speak to a doctor now. The cream that they gave me made it worse, and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I need to go back to my natural ways. However, that did not stop me from actually feeling like if I needed that intervention again, yeah, I would do it 100% again. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: So I don't understand the shame of it all, you know? Mm-hmm. I. I  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: suppose there's that element isn't there of I've spent most of my life in this field talking about natural, natural, natural. Mm-hmm. But I did that from a perspective of not understanding the impact of emotional pain. And like everybody, when you are reeling or every cell in your body is feeling the pain that you've either been stuffing down, which is why I'm so glad you shared that you honored that you had to pull over or do whatever you needed to do after the funeral and. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yeah, because you are holding on, you're putting on a brave face, and then guess what? You stop doing all the things that you need to be doing. I also tried intermittent fasting because everyone was telling me, or I was reading, you know, intermittent fasting is the way forward for Postmenopause. Don't eat before this. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Great. If you're not, you know, got adrenals that are like Yeah. Doing so well and you don't have this emotional burden of trying to untangle the pain and the discourse and the disconnect and everything that's been going on. Yes. In your family. So I think I just got to that point where, and I've always said this, sometimes we get so discombobulated, we just need a little bit of magic pixie dust. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yes. To bring us back into the space. For me, I just got to that point where my sleep was off. I had hot flushes. Now in fair. I got my sleep and my hot flushes back under control before I started the H R t by stopping the intermittent fasting and getting my sleep hygiene back into a good place. But I was still like ach. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: No one ever tells you about the painful feet. Oh my god. Painful feet as part of menopause. You know when you are hobbit? Yeah, absolutely. You see my  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: face? Cause I did, I,  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: I had that. I think the shame comes from us putting a banner up that says menopause. I have no shame, but you are the natural person. So what are you saying? 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: I'm doing exactly as you said, Alicia. I'm doing what's right for me. What feels right for me? I own such a low dose. It's really interesting. I've been given two doses of estrogen, two pumps of estrogen. If you take H r t, you'll know what that means. I've gone for body identical, so you know, as best as I can to fit in with my value system. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Mm-hmm. And some women are like, oh my God, I'm up to nine pumps. I can't have anymore. And I run a hormone cafe now in our village, and we were talking about that and I had the realization of we don't need more pumps of estrogen. We need less stress in our lives because it's always in Woo. Speak it. Yeah. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: It's always in these moments where one of the things I'm really grateful for, for me is, I stayed as natural to my body as I could. And again, this is not from a sanctimonious place. Yes. I really got to know my body. Yes. And even with using the small amount of H R T that I am, the estrogen, the progesterone, if I don't eat my three meals a day and balance my blood sugars, if I'm not hydrated mm-hmm. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: If I don't eat the right kind of food, if there's no joy in my. Still don't sleep. Wow. Sleep is out the window.  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Sorry. You saying something has just hit a big light bulb in my mind for somebody dear to me, so thank you.  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yeah. So actually yes, we may need that support. And we're looking at our longevity as well because at the end of the day, all the lifestyle interventions keep the body moving, you know, doing its thing. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: I still at ache, my joints are still aching. That's the, you know, that in my feet. It's just incredulous. But I'm working on it and I'm giving it time, and I'm moving the rest of my body. I've got better strength, better sleep, but when I don't put all the other, use my essential oils, use my Healy, look after my sleep, have great juicy conversations like this. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: I can tell straight away it won't matter. I can feel, for me, I need all of the things. I need a little bit of this and I need all of those lifestyle intentions and cause I'm back sleeping better because I've done some really big inner work with my mom and got myself and her, I hope to a place of peace and acceptance. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: I'm like, yeah, bring the water. Mm-hmm. Get the new juicer. Thank you very much. Yes. You know? Yeah. Eat the proper food. Get the movement in my body. Okay. I can feel it. The energy's coming back. The time is coming back. I'll just carry on being patient a little bit longer. Mm-hmm. But I need all of the tools, not just one thing. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Okay. Cuz that's what I was gonna ask you. I was gonna ask you if you feel like you've seen a difference with just using the small doses. Oh my God.  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Without a shadow of a doubt. The first time I used it. Mm-hmm. I woke up the next day and I was like, well, where have you been? Really? Yeah. And I was not expecting that at. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: That is very interesting. I took the H r t cuz as I say, I've sorted out my sleep by balancing up getting three meals a day and I eat a little bit later than maybe I eat. For me, this is the key thing. Yes. I eat for me and I thought, right, I'm gonna take the h r t, got the achy joints, can't lose weight. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yeah. And that might sound very back, but it's important for me because of where I hold my weight. So  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: again, I think we can't dismiss that because I think a lot of. Will be the same like you saying. So I don't think that's just a you thing because as we get older, I think we all worry about the middle weight, the fruit pride, the all of that stuff. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yeah. So the fact that you're saying you still couldn't, yeah, I think that's very vulnerable for you to share and also like, Let's understand that we are human here. Mm-hmm.  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: You know, and again, it's interesting. I can see my weight. I really expanded over the time where I was really processing what was going on with my mom. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yes,  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: yes. And I would agree too. I know that my body holds the weight because. For a number of years, yeah, I've been in fight or flight, and yes, I know I've got everything in my toolbox, but now as I go into this year, And I've really started to really dig deep and understand that the second phase of how I take care of myself is to really be patient and understanding and continue to nourish at my new juicer and just be a community of people who understand that this is a lifestyle. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: What I do is a lifestyle and not a diet. Now I'm seeing big changes. Yeah.  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: And again, because I don't want anyone shouting at me to say, you know, as your estrogen levels drop, you become more insulin resistant. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And also I was very lucky that I could get two Dutch tests, and in that 18 months between the first one and the second one, Well, my estrogen, progesterone had gone to suboptimal. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: I could see the big differences that were occurring, and I made that decision, and now I'm like, okay, I've had spotting, which has been interesting that I've managed to readdress the balance in that as well. I'm just being really curious with it because if I choose to stop it tomorrow, then it's not in my system. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: And this is what I love about these conversations, because you are trying to do the best for yourself. Yes. Okay. And I think a lot of the times we are told you should do this. Like a friend of mine said to me, oh, I went to the doctors and she checked me out and she told me I'm not perimenopausal. And I was like, Hmm. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: But again, that's not for me to judge, but equally I am like, well, the education that we know tells me that you are, and some of the symptoms that you are going through tells me that you are going through that journey. And so we need to lean into what our bodies are telling us and not what the person. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: You have a five minute appointment with is telling you, because I think for me personally, from experience, from myself being told that, no, this is not really what's happening when I know what's going on in my own body and from the perspective of my mom going to the doctors for 18 months before they actually believed that something was wrong, you have to continue to be your own. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Absolutely. And I find it really curious and maybe do we want the diagnosis, and I'm saying that with air quotes. Mm-hmm. Because is that gonna then make us take action? Wow. Yeah. I will use the word should. Mm-hmm. So do we go, I feel like shit. Mm-hmm. But I'm not gonna do anything about it because unless someone tells me it's perimenopause, well I'm just gonna carry on feeling like. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Why do we need someone to tell? It really fascinates me, and I hear it from so many people. Well, until you're told you're not gonna do anything, you are not gonna make any lifestyle changes. You're not gonna reduce your stress and up your joy. You're not gonna look at your relationship and have the brave conversations in your relationship. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Mm-hmm. Until a doctor  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: says, I mean, I will tell you this, like this friend was like, I know where I am in my life. And I was like, yes, but the fact that people are being told this. And so when they're listening to this conversation, then they're like, well, okay,  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: so many people are told like your friend, I'm not. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: And they're like, well, I dunno what's wrong with me then. Exactly. I was gonna say, and that's my, is what's wrong with us. Yeah.  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: And that's part of being gaslit as well, right? Yeah. Like, I'm so sorry to say that because you are being told no, you're not going through per menopause. Menopause. You've got into your fifties. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: And then you are thinking, well, what the fuck's wrong with me?  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yeah, exactly. So then we're left, lost, confused, and we just find lots of other people telling us that shit to be a woman. And we're like, well, what can we do about it? So, yeah. Yay. For your friend, for knowing where she's at. Yes. But yeah, it's just like, if we don't feel great, it's exactly what you said. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: And this is what I've always been as we've used the term, be your own detective, know yourself. Yes. But also let's not dismiss suicidal thoughts. All those kinds of things. I'm not saying put some lavender on it. No. You know, get the support and help that you need. So, so important. So yeah. Know. Let's get to know ourselves. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Yeah, let's get to honor ourselves. Let's get to have a sabbatical or some time out. Start saving now, ladies. Yes.  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yes, yes. I think we kind of have to come back and have another conversation about this because I love the fact that we can help in that capacity or things that you should be thinking about in terms of this sabbatical and. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: You might forget the retirement. Yes. Have a sabbatical. Yeah, a midlife sabbatical. Yeah. I just, and one of the ladies I got to know recently go walk naked on a beach and I beat through if that's what you need to do.  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Oh, I love that. Yeah. Because I've said it many times and every time I say it, I get a little bit emotional, but it's not promised. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Tomorrow is not promised and I just think, let's live for today. Let's enjoy life today. So Mary, is there any part in words that you would love to say to our  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: listeners? Well, firstly, I want to say to you, thank you for just being the most amazing woman that you are. It's been such an honor to see you grow and flourish, to see you bring Ellis into the world and to really be the mama that you want to be, and the friend and the wife. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Thanks, and the sister. I'm the carer. You are a true inspir. And to your listeners, just keep listening. This lady just manages to call in the most wonderful, wonderful people to her podcast. So there's always inspiration there is go back and listen if you've never listened before, because there will be an episode that you go, I do every time. 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: And you know, Alicia knows this cuz I send a little message going, oh my God. Oh my God. But the most important thing to bring off conversation today is if you aren't tracking your cycle already, please, the invitation is to do so. Now, I'm not quite sure when this episode is going. But just Google, where am I in the moon cycle? 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: What is the moon today? And find maybe a new moon or a full moon. Yes. Or a quarter moon. First quarter or last quarter, moon. And just start checking your energy, your sleep, your hunger, your sociability. Who do you wanna be around and who don't you wanna be around? What kind of exercise you feel like doing? 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Do you wanna get under the duvet or do you wanna be out there swinging around a. And also what kind of work are you into? Are you wanting to do all your admin and dot all the i's and cross the T's? Yes. Are you feeling super creative? Do you wanna get out there networking and batch all your reels or do whatever it is you wanna do? 
 
 

Mairi Taylor: Start tracking because then you are gonna start connecting. And the more we connect, the more aligned we become, the easier you make it for Alicia to help you move your business forward, and for you to move your business forward. But the more aligned we become, the more connected we are, the more we hear the whispers that our body is sending us. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Yes, I love it. Where can the listeners find you, Mary?  
 
 

Mairi Taylor: So they can find me on Instagram. Menopause Rockstar. Nothing's really happening on Facebook at the moment. Instagram, yeah, definitely. You can find me there. My website, mary taylor.com and yeah, that's where I tend to be hanging.  
 
 

Eleshia Harris: I love it and I loved this conversation. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: I always love the way we both work in flow and we just see how the conversation is going to go. I would highly recommend listeners if you haven't already, to go back and listen to the six weeks. Absolutely. Because a lot of what Mary just said in the last two minutes, we went over in great detail. In different phases of your cycle and the moon cycle. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: So 100%. Go back and listen to that and then go ahead and find Mary and also know that she's open for dms and conversations and any way that she or I can help you. We are here for you. You don't have to do this alone. No, absolutely. Okay, listeners, thanks again for listening to this week's episode. Like I always say, remember that you are the most important person and take care of yourself and invest in you. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: Okay. See you next week. Bye-bye. I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I enjoyed recording it with Mary. Thank you so, so much, Mary, as always, for sharing your vulnerability, being really open and honest. And for those of you who may want to hear more from Mary, please go ahead and check her out. We have listed all of her contact details in the show notes and look out for future collaborations between Mary and I. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: We have so many things that we keep on saying we are going to do together, but I just think that now is the right time for us both. So thank you once again for listening. Please, if you know anybody who would benefit from this. Please go ahead and share it. And if you are enjoying the subjects and the flow and the topics of the Alicia Show, please go ahead to iTunes and leave me a review. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: It really, really helps. Like I've said previously, I'm doing this all on my own, obviously with my team in the background, but it's all me, no sponsorship, so it would be really, really nice if you could leave me a. Take care for now. Bye-bye. I really hope you enjoyed this episode of the Alicia Show. If you loved this episode as much as I did, head over and rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. 
 
 

Eleshia Harris: New episodes drop every week on a Wednesday. I can't wait to hang out with you again soon. And lastly, remember to invest in yourself first because you are important and amazing. Take care. Until next time, bye-bye.